


Ancora Qui

by hrelics9



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alien Biology, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Crazy Soldier themes, Dark Medical, Dark!Zack, Insanity, Jenova things, M/M, ManicZack, Mental Instability, Past Torture, Rating will go up, SOLDIER Cloud Strife, Saving Sephiroth (eventually), ShinRa Revenge, Soldier AU, Stand alone fic for now, Tags will be added, Torture, WARNING: GETS VERY DARK, dark experiments, dark themes, dark!Cloud - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrelics9/pseuds/hrelics9
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to hold in the things done to him. When he finally breaks, Cloud welcomes it. Uses it to gain what they've all been longing for.Freedom from SOLDIER. From ShinRa.DarkFic*SOLDIER Cloud AU
Relationships: Angeal Hewley/Sephiroth, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	Ancora Qui

**Author's Note:**

> A prologue and an outlet for when I need to get out all my dark fanon thoughts. Updates slowly-I've gotten myself into too many projects. 
> 
> WARNINGS*  
> BLOOD AND GORE  
> JUST ASSUME HORRIBLE THINGS THROUGHOUT IN THE FUTURE.  
> NO CHARACTER DEATH YOU GUYS WILL CARE ABOUT-THE BOYS LIVE NO WORRIES

It burns. 

Thick, hot ash sticking in his throat. Simmering on his skin and crackling in his ears. 

More as the burning continues. Grows brighter and brighter in the orange light washing over their skin. Turns it red soon enough, with every inch the fire consumes. 

Burns red. Behind his eyes and in his skin; Travels in his veins with the shaking rage left. 

“Oh Yeah! Look at that Cloud, gotta big one comin’ in.”

 _Zack._ He’s burning brighter than any of it. 

Standing on top of the smoldering ruins and rubble, giddy with a dark satisfaction they’ve both been craving for far too long. Buster sword hitched across his shoulders, hand strong around the handle. It glints in the sunrays shining over Zack’s heaving chest and tightly coiled muscles.

Glints red. 

Drips with deep liquid at the tip, faster and faster. Pooling thick and shaming the pile of what once was beneath Zack’s feet. A tall mess of burned and cut wood. Paint chips and smashed machinery. Bodies too. Cloud knows there are so many bodies. He killed half of them-left the rest to Zack. He seemed to need the release more. Raced through the underground labs, corralling Cloud behind him nearly half the way. It screamed from his body; Zack's untamed anger.

Seems to have tilted into the other direction out in the cold, snowy air. With fire burning at his feet and smoke growing thicker.

Cloud catches Zack’s giddiness easily. Feels the whispers under his skin and the pull that bursts out of him. He laughs. Loudly and short. Hears the near-hysterical tone at the end and revels in it. Revels in the red and the setting sun. They’ve done it. Managed a fear that’s consumed Cloud for too long. Here in the center of the beginning. 

A roar- angrier than anything sane- fills the air. Slightly desperate and rough. Vibrates the wrecked buildings around them. Cuts through the thick, billowing dark smoke. A shadow passes over them, blocks out the red for a few moments of warning. 

Another fiend. 

It’s expected. Death draws them in. The stench of blood and decay calling out to the wildness and the violence in them. 

It’s not the first one. Just the biggest one so far. Cloud is sure there will be more. It’s just-this might be the last one they have to deal with for a while. Now that they’ve finally broken free. Another hysterical tone escapes from him, wrapped in huffs of his breath, falling to the air in his sighs. Relief comes even stronger to him. Grows and renews his strength and courage. 

He never has to come back here. It's gone, Nibelheim is gone.

Zack whoops loudly, shrugs the heavy blade off his shoulder to swing the weapon wildly over his head in a show of strength. Splatters some of that blood all over. Grin wide, pushing the dark excitement in his eyes, Zack leaps down and darts after the shadow above them. Cloud’s not sure at this distance, but his eyes look brighter. Glow more with the mako-a striking teal amongst the drying trails of blood on his face. 

Not his of course. No, no. They’ll never get any of their blood again. They’ve given too much over the years.

It’s time for them to get some of it back. The time that’s been stolen. The pain that’s been taken. 

A whimper. 

Cloud hears it muffled by the rubble. Just a few steps from him. It’s not hard to find the source. A pathetic pile of bones and blood. Barely able to move on its own.

It. That’s what he is to Cloud. A thing that broke him in over and over. A shiver runs down his spine. Doesn’t matter that he’s looming over the injured form, watching it shake and whimper at his feet. Cloud grips the handle of his own sword harder. Takes in the distant, overly happy shouting as Zack hacks away at the flying fiend overhead. Stupid creature. Keeps lunging low to try and get at Zack. It’s no match. Not for a SOLDIER. The slick of flesh splitting and blood dumping onto the ground. A solid thud not too far behind him and the fiend's screeching eases. 

It’s just the burning again.

Oh.

 _Right._ And the whimpering. 

“N-n-no,” the whimpering says. It can’t lift its head very well; shoulder is trapped under a large burning beam. Most of the mansion came down with the underground explosion. 

Cloud wonders how it got out. Thought that ring of bruises around its neck finished it off. He clicks his tongue, taps the tip of his sword on the ground as he steps a little closer.

The whimpering quiets. Just a stare of dark eyes staring up at him. Even still, there’s no empathy. Hardly even a spike of fear. Just...desperation.

Why is everything so desperate the moment they start fighting back. Desperate to get away from them? That’s ironic. They created them. Brought them to the point of breaking and Cloud doesn’t want to be fixed anymore. He’ll take the whispering in his head and the burning in his veins. Zack’s with him after all. Got the same mako pumping under his skin. 

Mako crazy. That’s what all the cadets used to say, years ago when he was one. Call the long-time SOLDIERS a little too wonky and unstable. 

It almost made Cloud forget about making rank. 

But then….

Then he did. 

Got his own taste of mako-insanity. 

And then a bit more he didn’t ask for. 

“He’s not here, Blondie.” Zack’s footsteps are heavy. Crunch in the snow that the fire hasn’t melted yet. 

Cloud shrugs a shoulder at his ever closer form. Stares down at the whimpering thing a bit too long.

“I can see that, Zack.”

A heavy weight and slick, warm touch fall over his shoulders. Zack’s body is massive and vibrating with the afterglow of a fight. Presses against Cloud’s side and leans into him. 

He smells like copper and mako. 

Covered in so much blood Cloud can’t tell which is human and which is fiend. None of it is Zack’s. They can’t touch them anymore.

“You’re drenched,” Cloud says. Flat noted and unphased. Zack brightens and squeezes him. A squelch tickles his bare arm.

“So are you, what’s a bit more?” Zack qips back at him.

Yes. Of course. What _is_ a bit more?

The whimpering might do then. It’s getting tiresome to listen to.

“Yo,” Zack spins his buster, staring lovingly at the blood coated blade, “wanna exchange a secret for your life, Hojo?”

The whimpering coughs. Spits out a glob of blood and laughs. 

“A-ll this, for a s-secert?”

No.

For their freedom. They don’t really need the information anyway. Cloud sighs loudly, rolls his eyes at Zack’s questioning head tilt. The answer is clear. Sephiroth isn’t here. Nibelheim was just a point to get rid of.

Wipe off the map. Clean start. 

It’s too much of a pain to keep around. Every throat he cut, every building he set aflame. Wakens a relief in Cloud. Enough that he can swallow the dark actions he’s taking. Keep it tucked in him. With the anger and the fear and the longing. Might have felt bad if Mom was still alive. But she's not. Dead, taken from him too. This place...it's nothing but suffering. It belongs to the ashes.

Spent too long traveling here to be experimented on and cut at. It’s not his home anymore. They turned it into something twisted and foreign. The blood on the ground doesn’t matter anyway. It’s no one he knows, not really. The few important to him are long gone. Taken by them as well.

By ShinRa. 

It’s only right he gets to take back. 

“Mm? Oh, the burning. Nah, that’s just fun,” Zack sneers. Bumps Cloud’s hip, looking for agreement.

“Right, lets out the stress.”

It laughs again. Pathetic and gurgling on its own blood. Cloud almost feels bad. It must be suffering so much. 

“You-ack-w-wanna know where S-Sephiroth is.”

Of course. Missing in action they said. 

Cloud doubts it. An assignment out to Nibelheim and then he never returns? As mundane as a reactor check-up. No...Cloud knows what reactor check-ups mean in Nibelheim. Means pain and needles and mako.

Cloud rolls his eyes again, “It doesn't know. Just slice it dead, Zack.”

“W-wait,” it stutters up at them. Yanks on its shoulder to try and get free from the destroyed wood of the mansion. It’s a good idea, that fire is getting closer by the second, “H-he was h-headed back to Midgar.”

Midgar…

Zack glances at him, hums in interest.

“Well, whatcha think? Head back to the hornet’s nest?”

Back to the secrets and the lies. 

They were bound to end up back there anyway. Cloud's freedom out here is taken back, but a life free from ShinRa? They won’t get it with Midgar standing, a bleak pillar among the dying planet. 

“Fine. I guess,” Cloud says. Turns from the whimpering mess of whatever Hojo is. It’s not a person. Not to Cloud. Just ...whatever. 

They need to find Sephiroth. The burning around them is creating so much smoke the red starts to fade-it's a sign to get a move on. 

He only gets a few steps into the crisp snow when the whimpering turns to screaming.

“No! No! You said-”

Zack’s laugh is short and exhilarated, delighted with his sword swinging. The screaming cuts into a watery squeak. A thud of metal. Zack’s dissatisfied sigh and his heavy footsteps following after Cloud in the silence.

“Too easy?” Cloud asks as Zack's arm takes its place around his shoulders again.

“Nah, too quick. Thought I had strangled him back there, but...tch. Blades too quick for him.”

It doesn’t deserve mercy. Cloud agrees but knowing it’s gone for good now-Can’t trap him down and poke whispers from something in the sky inside him anymore. Just knowing gives him more strength for their task ahead. 

They won’t be able to get back into Headquarters now. Even if no one survived their rage spree. That's the trouble with ShinRa; they pop back up. Too many heads to cut down. Know what their property is up too.

Eventually. They will get there eventually. Got a whole landmass to cross first.

“Hey,” Zack stops their slow trudge through the town. This close to the entrance, most of the buildings are just piles of wood embers. Smoke clearer and drifting toward the snowy mountain. It’s not quite as red down here so Cloud allows Zack to turn him and grip both his biceps. Thumbs at his muscles that are tightly wound.

“Yeah, Zack?” Cloud doesn’t stop his slow smile. Zack looks good like this. Out in the cold and the smoke. Ashes stuck in the blood coating his hair. Dried trails of ravage fighting stuck on his skin, on his clothes. God, his fucking buster is _still_ dripping a small red trail behind him. Spots of deep crimson in the fresh white snow. It’s strangely beautiful. _Zack_...is strangely beautiful.

“You okay? Didn’t check you over down there, after I broke you outta that tank.”

Right, the mako tank. He always thought it was weird; that Hojo put him in a massive amount of mako just before and after the cutting...and the needles and the pain. 

“I’m fine.” He is. He’s got a future without any of this bullshit in it. It’s close, he can taste it in the air.

Or maybe that’s just the ash.

Whatever still doesn’t matter. He’s fine. Got an extra boost even; from the mako. Feels like it, along with that lifted weight of Nibelheim burning to the ground.

Really. He's good.

Zack makes a small wounded sound low in his throat. Grip going painful on Cloud’s arms for a moment. 

“I’ll kill him twice over, Cloud,” That’s sweet, but they’ve all been hurt by Hojo. He suspects Sephiroth the worst. Which is why they need to find him, “Should have the moment you told me what he’s been doing to you.”

It’s the only little part in him he thinks is real still. The small urge to reassure Zack that it’s all okay. It’s not Zack’s fault. Sometimes it’s just the right moment waiting to be taken. 

“I’d rather you stay safe from it, Zack.”

There’s that wounded sound again. Bit louder. Zack’s searching for something in his face. Lies? Recognition? He doesn’t know, Cloud’s always been bad at picking up other’s intentions. Their emotions-he thinks the mako has made it wor-

“Hmmph!”

As far as kissing goes, this one’s pretty bloody. Tastes like copper and a weird tinge of whatever fiend tastes like. But...shit, if it's not something Cloud has longed for too many years now. A rushing grows loud in his ears and Cloud melts into Zack’s body. Moans and shifts his jaw just a bit and the pressure changes. Warm and consuming. Just like everything Zack always is. Takes from Cloud the only way Cloud is okay with being taken from. 

From Zack only. He’ll give Zack whatever he wants. Whatever he needs. Wants to. 

Cloud’s been dumb then, all this time not to see Zack wants it as well.

He gasps into Zack’s mouth. Grips hard at his blood and gut soiled uniform. Newly resurging sense of self coming back to him. Pulling him from the angry haze of red and rage. Of revenge. He’s still broken. Cloud knows he is. Feels it just at the walls pushing in. Too much. Too much mako and too much strain. 

But. He’s a SOLDIER. That’s what they all become eventually. 

He’s okay then, as long as Zack’s there with him. Holding him in the cold and the burning embers of Cloud’s past. Nipping at his lips and lapping his tongue into his mouth. Taking whatever Cloud will let him. 

He takes for a long time. Pulls back after a faint fiend screech reaches their ears. Slow though, as if parting from Cloud’s lips will be the death of him. Rests his forehead against Cloud’s and holds tightly onto his neck. Cupping the base of his skull. Rubs warmth into his scalp. 

“I had to, just once Blondie,” Zack breathes heavily across his face. Eyes closing in longing and something Cloud can’t read. Just knows that it pulls an echo of sadness. 

“Just the one time?” Cloud asks him. Holds onto his wrists with as much strength as Zack is holding onto his head. 

“Huh?” There they are; Those sharp eyes with dark lashes. Yep. They are glowing brighter than usual. Mako crystals breaking and shattering in his natural blue color. 

Cloud laughs, “How ‘bout less blood next time?”

Zack’s smile; it’s blinding-like usual. But there’s a gentleness there among the insanity that lifts the edges of his lips up. A tenderness Cloud thinks only he sees now. Even the little laugh Zack lets out isn’t as manic filled as his cackling during battles. Cloud’s tugged closer, flush against Zack’s body (yeah okay, that’s definitely some monster guts squishing between them) to shake with something other than rage for once.

“Sorry, no-can-do,” Zack mumbles against his lips. 

It is less coppery this time. Only cause the first one rubbed so much of the blood off Zack’s face. Probably smeared all over Cloud's.

Eh, it’s fine anyway. 

Cloud will find out what Zack tastes like without all the gore eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this has been done before, but meh. I like crazy SOLDIERS.


End file.
